Break and Fix.
Jan 22
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Do you struggle to build new habits?
You’re not alone.
With the New Year, many people want to build a new habit…
and too many of them fail.
See, it’s good to set Big Goals. If we don’t dream big, we don’t have much motivation to do big things.
And doing big things is what gets us attention… and attention is necessary if we want to be persuasive or influential…
I wrote about the importance of Action and your Environment in my book Change State (find it here on Le Amazón)
But many times… maybe pretty much every time… our Big Dreams don’t happen immediately. And if we don’t get instagratificated we decide it’s not worth the effort, the failures, the pain…
and we give up.
That’s the problem. We think Big Dreams require Big Actions.
But, see, Big Actions are really just a number of smaller actions.
If you wanted to “work out at the gym every day in 2020,” that sounds like a lot of work, especially if it’s a new activity for you.
How can you make the smallest start?
Get to the Gym.
Don’t worry about crushing it. Worry about creating the habit to just get there. Once that feels manageable and comfortable, then you can start adding to your routine.
A second way to build a new habit is to have a monetary incentive. Make a bet with someone and suddenly your new goal has a larger incentive — winning that bet!
But is “winning the bet” what’s driving you?
Prospect Theory states that people value more what they already have, and will work harder to keep what they have than to earn something new.
So you have to make sure you have something on the line, some skin in the game, something to lose if you’re unable to maintain your new habit. Winning feels good. Losing feels worse.
Our third idea for today is replacing a bad habit with a good habit.
It’s not easy to cut something out of your life. You feel a void where it used to be. Instead you have to build up enough reasons why it’s bad, and find a replacement with enough reasons why that option is good, and why it fills the same hole.
For example, if you’d like to cut back on your alcohol consumption during the week, you’re going to feel the void of not having a nice beverage within reach.
If you associate enough pain with drinking alcohol —say, hangovers and bar bills— you might see a reason to change.
But that void might pull you back in.
If you associate better health, more productive mornings, higher energy, and a fatter wallet with the benefits of not drinking alcohol, you have even more reason to avoid that firewater.
But that void still might pull you back in.
You have to fill the void.
There are many other beverages available. Water, tea, coffee, kombucha… they may not perform the same effect as the alcohol —nothing will— but they at least fill the void of not having any beverage.
Or if it’s bar time, fill the void with another activity that keeps you busy instead of pining for your favorite barstool.
Habits aren’t easy to change.
Luckily for you, habits are not permanent behaviors.
You have to find the right levers to pull and you can soon find yourself on a new, better path.
Here’s a quick recap:
- small steps towards comfort
- risk of loss and excitement of possible rewards
- replacing one habit with another
The year is still young. What habits are you changing this year?
Jeffrey