Goldmine Marketing

Tag: rapport

  • Keep ’em at Arm’s Length

    Imagine the last argument you had. You were convinced of your position. There’s no way the other person was right.

    They thought the same about your argument, of course.

    I’d be willing to bet at least one of you crossed your arms in front of yourself to block the very ideas being spoken.

    Arms are one of our most expressive forms of communication. They’re used to build trust and rapport, as we’ll see. They’re used for defense. They’re used to communicate effectively at work.

    Imagine the college professor, using her arms to focus our attention to different parts of her presentation. Lawyers use their arms to emphasize their points. Traffic cops use their arms to direct the flow around them.

    We are naturally inclined to watch people’s arms — so much that illusionists and pickpockets take advantage of this to misdirect our attention.

    In addition to emphasizing our speech, sudden changes in our arms also communicate our limbic reactions to our surroundings.

    Image "Put your hands up in the air" by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
    Image “Put your hands up in the air” by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

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  • Those Big Ears Will Give You Confidence

    In highschool we had to vote for a student government representative for our homeroom, the room we started and ended each school day. There were two candidates in our homeroom. One candidate was studious and seriously wanted the job — she had plans!

    The second candidate was a goof who spent most of his school day talking with people. He was charismatic, but he didn’t have any plans for the school government if he was elected (but let’s be honest, those organizations don’t accomplish much anyways).

    Who do you think won?

    Everyone is drawn to a charismatic personality. Many of us believe charismatic people are born this way, and their leadership skills are an effortless result of their charisma.

    The leader fights for the interests of her group. Photo "IMG_2810_1" by Allie, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
    The leader is a member of her group. Photo “IMG_2810_1” by Allie, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

    This is the story we tell ourselves. This story keeps us from looking at our own skillset to see where we fall short. But this story is not true.

    You, too, can develop charisma and become an effective leader.

    Charisma isn’t about being high-energy. It’s not about striking out in bold new directions or making perfect decisions. How can you develop charisma? (more…)

  • The Unbelievably Simple way to Improve Participation

    Good day PRL readers!

    Last week we touched on ways that you can negatively influence an outcome: The Poochie Effect. By immediately presenting a solution to a question, we shut people out of the solution process and remove their intrinsic desire to be valuable.

    Lead people to your conclusions with Pacing
    Lead people to your conclusions with Pacing. Flicker, US Army, CC-By-2.0

    Today I want to talk about pacing. Pacing is when you get early agreement in a conversation, and slowly lead somebody to reach your goal.

    Pacing is the opposite of the Poochie Effect, and it’s essential to Persuasion and Social Hypnosis. (more…)

  • What can Poochie the Dog teach us about Persuasion?

    Have you watched The Simpsons cartoon?

    In Season 8 of The Simpsons, the Itchy and Scratchy Show decides they need a new character. There’s a meeting of the animators. The boss asks them to come up with a name for the new dog character.

    “The rest of you writers start thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say… Poochie, only more proactive,” he says before slamming the door.

    “So, Poochie OK with everybody?” is the result of the meeting.

    Great episode and this scene shows us how influence from authority can limit our creative thinking.

    via GIPHY

    If a boss or somebody of higher authority than you presents a solution to a problem, your subconscious will shut down. You’ll see that authoritative idea as the winner. You won’t reach a state of flow.

    I call this the Poochie Effect.  (more…)