Reactance is people’s natural resistance to your suggestions. People prefer the known, they don’t want to change the status quo. If you suggest a change…
“What makes you so smart!?”
As people of influence, how do we combat people’s natural resistance to being told what to do?
This past weekend I attended a kid’s birthday party with my 5 year old daughter.
The party is at a gymnastics gym in the suburbs. Short and sweet and cake and we’re outta there. The staff takes care of everything, pretty good setup with minimal fuss for the parents.
I say ‘the middle’ because I’ve started writing the books — one of which is available now for subscribers before I finish blowing it up into a full book for sale.
When I was growing up, my Grandpa always had a joke or a magic trick at the ready. My memories of childhood aren’t well defined, quite fuzzy really, but there are stand-outs with Grandpa Damie’s magic.
“dark jack” by Akki annant, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
Throughout his life and beyond, I’ve heard great things about my grandpa. People remembered his generosity and personal touch. He would receive Christmas cards and accolades years after seeing old friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
How did my Grandpa Damie have such an impact on people?
Most weekends, my wife and I make it a point to write out a dinner menu, spend an hour shopping, and prep for some dinners in the upcoming week.
It’s not the way we’d prefer to spend Sunday morning. It doesn’t matter. We know that having the menu ready and the food in the house is going to massively increase the chances that we will enjoy a home-cooked dinner.
Restaurant food is always ready to please! “Mmmmm, Burgers!” by m01229, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
The ever-present alternative is restaurant food. I love restaurant food! It’s cooked, it’s salty and fatty and delicious, it’s exactly what I wanted, and I can get it brought right to my front door! (more…)
Did you know the original Universities were designed as Prisons to keep unruly young men caged up while their hormones drove risky behavior that threatened the local social harmony?
Rather than allow young people to take risks that help them to grow and experience life, we continue to indoctrinate them with social rules to help keep the order.
The risks available to busy students are far less violent than what may be the alternatives.
I don’t remember everything from University. There certainly weren’t a lot of dangerous risks in the small town where I studied.
Dorm life was a party — and we could smoke indoors! A “career” after graduation seemed a lifetime away. Econ 101 taught me the benefits of Free Trade.
I loved this class! Photo “Amherst63-012” by NealeA, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
And while I learned a lot I’m sure, there is plenty that I didn’t learn.
Maybe you, too?
•We didn’t learn how to start a business in university — the mindset of an entrepreneur.
•We didn’t learn how to create and maintain a budget — the mindset of habit.
•We didn’t learn to negotiate — the mindset of persuasion.
This is the reason I’ve started PersuasionReadingList.com — to learn what I should know to understand what moves the human mind, and to share these concepts of influence with you. (more…)
People hardly ever say what they mean. Most people are driven by emotions, especially in highly-charged circumstances. Their words reflect those emotions, even if they act otherwise.
The kid (or coworker) that grumbles throughout a task — is still doing that task (even though she’s not framing it in a positive way).
“Verbal Judo” teaches you to redirect verbal aggression as a Professional
The spouse, during an argument, who throws out the incorrect idea that (more…)
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