Tag: embedded command

4 Ways to Combat Reactance

Last week we discussed Reactance.

Reactance is people’s natural resistance to your suggestions. People prefer the known, they don’t want to change the status quo. If you suggest a change…

“What makes you so smart!?”

As people of influence, how do we combat people’s natural resistance to being told what to do?

This past weekend I attended a kid’s birthday party with my 5 year old daughter.

The party is at a gymnastics gym in the suburbs. Short and sweet and cake and we’re outta there. The staff takes care of everything, pretty good setup with minimal fuss for the parents.

"Friends :-)" by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
“Friends :-)” by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

Continue reading “4 Ways to Combat Reactance”

The Problem with Positivity (Negative Embedded Commands)

Imagine you’re at a party. You stop in the kitchen to refill your beverage. You find yourself drawn into a conversation. As the evening (and the conversation) progresses, the kitchen fills with more and more people.

Soon it seems as though the rest of the house must be empty! Everyone is in the kitchen!

People gather where there is food. "Cake!" by Kate Russel, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
People gather where there is food and warmth. “Cake!” by Kate Russel, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

I’m sure you’ve noticed — people love to gather in the kitchen at parties. The hearth is the symbolic center of the home, where food and warmth are found. Continue reading “The Problem with Positivity (Negative Embedded Commands)”

Why she isn’t wrong (and you are, you jerk)

“Don’t do that!”

“Don’t accept that excuse! It’s not true!”

“Don’t coddle her!”

Have you heard any of those before?

I’ve heard these and similar arguments come out of my own mouth more than once. I’ve heard them from other parents, from coworkers, from my own family. We all have.

Have they ever worked to solve your problem?

Photo "CL Society 218: Crossing arms" by Francisco Osorio, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
You angry? Photo “CL Society 218: Crossing arms” by Francisco Osorio, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

Monday night was no exception. After a rough swimming lesson, my daughter refused to behave during a quick stop at the store. Continue reading “Why she isn’t wrong (and you are, you jerk)”