Tag: confidence

Want happiness? Build more relationships

1:24pm
Saint Paul

“Ah yes! My Dale Carnegie feedback!” I said, picking up the notecards from the floor.

As I read them, each made me smile.

Maybe you know this, but years ago, I took the Dale Carnegie communications course.

Carnegie wrote the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

And the Carnegie course helped my relationships, my confidence, and my public speaking (like my recent gig at B2B Forum in Boston).

But none of that had the impact that these cards have.

Let me explain.
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Magical Thinking: Bombarded with Truth

11:05am Tuesday

Good day! I’m following up on some client phone calls this morning while my kids hang out with my mother-in-law.

Sunday evening, she and I talked late into the night about the coronavirus, a possible return of students to schools in the fall, and —because everything is political these days— the politics of it all.

One thing she brought up was Trump’s recent tweet that we’re getting closer to a vaccine.

“It’s magical thinking,” she said, to raise people’s expectations when there’s no evidence to support it. “Trump does this all the time. He makes things up that just aren’t true.”

Truth, however, isn’t as apparent and unchanging as we’d like to believe.
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Persuasion Articles of the Week

The NYTimes suggests we punish overconfidence, the hallmark of, well, people who take risks. Image “Put your hands up in the air” by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

#confidence #neuroscience #buddhism #microbiome #copywriting

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Persuasion Articles of the Week

Photo “CL Society 218: Crossing arms” by
Francisco Osorio, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

#fail #win #drive #persuasion #bias #japan #trains #smoking #unstoppable

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Focus and Misdirection! Five Rules of Magic (and How They Can Improve Your Persuasion Game)

When I was growing up, my Grandpa always had a joke or a magic trick at the ready. My memories of childhood aren’t well defined, quite fuzzy really, but there are stand-outs with Grandpa Damie’s magic.

“dark jack” by Akki annant, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

Throughout his life and beyond, I’ve heard great things about my grandpa. People remembered his generosity and personal touch. He would receive Christmas cards and accolades years after seeing old friends, coworkers, and neighbors.

How did my Grandpa Damie have such an impact on people?

An impact that was remembered long after? (more…)
Better Sales with Stephen R. Moore
(Persuasion Play Podcast 001)

Stephen R. Moore sat patiently across from me while I fidgeted with my mobile phone. I didn’t know how my first podcast was going to turn out. I was trying to keep my nerves under control, play it cool, and not waste his time.

Stephen is a leadership and sales coach, helping corporate clients in the car industry get better customer satisfaction and results. His cooperative, Leadership3P, pulls in over $600,000 every year.

His time is valuable, to say the least.

We were already off to a rough start. My plan to

The Uplifter was an inspiring first podcast. I am eternally grateful!

meet in a quiet library didn’t work out due to a national holiday (A sincere thank you to all of our nation’s military veterans for your service).

I hadn’t made a backup plan. In my scramble to find a new location, I chose what must have been the loudest coffee shop in miles. (more…)
Living with Happiness

The Secret calls it Living in Bliss.

Tony Robins calls it Living in a Beautiful State.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it the Flow.

Lao Tzu wrote about Tao, the Way of the Universe, in the 4th century BCE.

Whatever name you give it, when you are happy your life is much better. Time disappears. Everything seems easier.

I have the Chinese character of Tao hanging on my wall among the photos that make me happy.

Imagine a pleasant summer morning. The world seems a bit lazier today. You hear the birds singing as you make your way to work. The sunlight warms your head. You hear your favorite song just before you arrive. Your smile is mirrored back to you by a coworker.

You know it’s going to be a great day. Confirmation bias will help to ensure it. (more…)
Persuasion Articles of the Week

“Engineering Department employees, 1962, Item 74240” by Seattle Municipal Archives, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

#bodylanguage #math #confidence #elections #northkorea #cognitivedissonance

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Lies and the Limbic Brain

Think about a time when you pretended to continue an uncomfortable conversation as you moved into another room. Sure, you could still talk back and forth, but it was more difficult. Another item soon occupied your focus, which ended the exchange.

Discomfort rules your limbic brain. That limbic lizard brain inside is what moves your body to a safer room when you’re uncomfortable.

I found myself doing exactly this earlier last week. Fleeing the scene of an accidental argument. (more…)
Reading the Confidence Tells of the Face

We’ve trained our faces to lie.

Social order depends on the cooperation of people to accomplish tasks, people that may not otherwise get along. From the Great Wall of China to your office this week, we’ve all put on a happy face to make a situation less confrontational. If you’re looking for truth, the face is one of the least likely places to find it.

Is this smile real or fake? How do you know? Image “t smile” by halbag, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

It makes life easier for everyone.

The face is controlled by 43 muscles, adding up to a wide variety of expressions! Even if we can control our facial muscles to an extent, our limbic system still reacts. It’s difficult for most people to maintain a mask covering their true emotions, (more…)