9:02am
Saint Paul
“Can you drive?”
It’s a Sunday morning and I’m just arriving at my cousin’s house.
“Yeah,” I say. “Hop in!”
See, my cousin had come over the previous Friday to watch the Olympics opening ceremony.
And she invited me to join her at a church service where she and her daughters had been attending.
All I could think is: Religions know how to persuade. Market Research!
“It’s got a great, uplifting message,” my cuz’ said during the Olympics. “And one of our favorite pastors retired a few years ago, and he’s returning for this Sunday. Want to go?”
If you’re a long-time reader, you may know I returned to my own Church in 2019, after 30+ years of thinking I knew better. And I love the messages I get there, the community, the prayers, the ceremony and tradition.
But I’m also open to different ways to look at the world, because the world is filled with beautiful ideas.
As someone wise once said, “Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.”
Bruce Lee said that, by the way.
Plus: knowing how others think and act is a copywriter’s secret weapon.
So with that in mind, cuz’ hops in the car and we drive 30 minutes to attend my first Mega-Church.
The parking lot is the size of a CostCo lot. We park far away and wave to the people directing traffic.
And as we approach the suburban sprawl building, I don’t know what to expect… but it wasn’t this!
Inside, everyone has a beverage in hand. There are coffee stations and baristas. Women carry trendy canned somethings. Men have coffees… and wear baseball hats… indoors… in a church.
We make our way to the oversized cushioned seats within a large, busy auditorium, and settle in.
People are still enjoying their drinks as the lights dim… and the house band starts playing Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow).”
And they are really good!
The video cameras—on long booms—swing around the room, broadcasting the service to other branches of the church and to home viewers.
It’s a full-on concert.
Then they play a few Christian rock songs I didn’t know.
Next, a singer says a quick prayer, the band exits the stage, and the pastor comes on stage to welcoming applause.
He speaks for some 30 minutes about his experiences with family and the community and a recent baptism the church held for some 1,300 people.
During the sermon he tells stories, filling out his message with examples and scripture—the same way Jesus taught.
Then… lights come on and we abruptly leave!
It wasn’t what I knew. It wasn’t what I expected. But here’s a few things I learned:
• It was not a worship service. It was more like a top-of-funnel marketing experience. If you knew nothing about the message of Christianity—you’re Problem Unaware as Schwartz would say—this would have been a fine introduction.
• Entertainment goes a long way towards getting butts in seats. Get overwhelmed with the sweet rock-n-roll introduction—which creates a hypnotic state—and then get nourished with the inspirational message at the end.
• Stories are persuasive. So is authority. Nothing new here, but the pastor was an excellent speaker who wove stories and scripture (aka authority) together to move the audience. He also used photos of children and animals—adorbs—to further create emotional highs and lows in the audience.
• There was not a sense of history or tradition. The new building was stark and modern, the beverage service made it feel like a social event, and the whole thing was very casual. Which I’m sure is the goal—to be different from traditional services, and inviting to those who aren’t familiar with a traditionally structured service. People like different.
Will I return?
Unlikely, partly because of the distance, and partly because it didn’t fulfill me in a spiritual way.
But if this Mega-Church appeals to others and helps them improve their lives, that’s great.
For as Jesus said, “he that is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:38-40).
Have a beautiful day!