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Persuasion Articles of the Week

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The Echo Chamber of Social Media Divides Us

Social Media, such as Facebook and Twitter, are great tools for reaching a lot of people… right? Yes, but often new information only reaches those already in agreement.

Social Media sites like Facebook use complex computer software to filter and sort headlines and posts. Do you like the White Sox? You’ll get stories about the White Sox. This software ensures that most people get news that interests them — including headlines and ‘evidence’ that match their current preferences and worldviews. Facebook’s role is to engage you (and show you ads), not to challenge your belief structure.

When every headline you see supports your existing belief structure, of course the other side of a political argument is going to be ‘wrong’ — everyone is working from a different set of ‘facts!’

If you tried converting anyone to your preferred presidential candidate using Facebook, you probably made more enemies than converts.

There are two likely scenarios here.

If you tried to introduce new information to your discussion, it was probably overwhelmed by the existing information on the other side, and lead to cognitive dissonance. When someone confronts an uncomfortable idea, they’ll rationalize it away, ignore it, or refuse it. They want to remain internally consistent with their belief structure. People don’t like to disagree with their former selves.

If that new information did make it into your conversation, it possibly made things worse. Rather than an objective look at a situation when new information comes to light, people will often dig in deeper to their currently-held positions. They want to be seen as socially consistent. Being labeled a “flip-flopper” in light of new evidence is portrayed as a bad quality in presidential politics. People are publicly tied to their identity. They won’t easily give that up.

Social Media filters prevent people from seeing the same information you see. This has been the case for years now. Our nation is growing apart because of it.

Any attempt to sway others by highlighting news stories probably never made in front of their eyes. If it did, they dismissed it outright.

Anything that contradicted someone’s existing beliefs probably caused them to dig in deeper.

People don’t want to think.
Those Big Ears Will Give You Confidence

In highschool we had to vote for a student government representative for our homeroom, the room we started and ended each school day. There were two candidates in our homeroom. One candidate was studious and seriously wanted the job — she had plans!

The second candidate was a goof who spent most of his school day talking with people. He was charismatic, but he didn’t have any plans for the school government if he was elected (but let’s be honest, those organizations don’t accomplish much anyways).

Who do you think won?

Everyone is drawn to a charismatic personality. Many of us believe charismatic people are born this way, and their leadership skills are an effortless result of their charisma.

The leader is a member of her group. Photo “IMG_2810_1” by Allie, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

This is the story we tell ourselves. This story keeps us from looking at our own skillset to see where we fall short. But this story is not true.

You, too, can develop charisma and become an effective leader.

Charisma isn’t about being high-energy. It’s not about striking out in bold new directions or making perfect decisions. How can you develop charisma? (more…)
How Social Consistency Helps Make the Sale

Hi PRL!

A friend recently told me that, despite having no ability to play the banjo, he recently outbid others at a silent auction. Once he expressed a minor interest in the instrument, he found it hard to walk away. Combine this with the scarcity of the item and the time crunch, and he found himself drawn into an impossible situation. He was asking if I had any tips to pass along. Nope! Do you have any banjo tips to share?

Last week I introduced Social Consistency. As you saw, people want to remain consistent to the public statements they’ve made. They don’t want to eat their words! Pointing out someone’s inconsistent statements will often force them to revert to those previous attitudes. People like to agree with their previous selves, don’t you think?

[tweetthis]People like to agree with their previous selves, don’t you think?[/tweetthis]

People also work to maintain consistent behavior, and use words that reflect those behaviors. No one wants to appear erratic. Erratic is synonymous with crazy, and crazy is dangerous. (more…)
Persuasion wins the day in “Stranger Things”

Hello PRL!

Have you seen the Netflix series Stranger Things? It’s like a classic 1980s adventure movie, a mix of ET and Stand By Me, stretched out over eight episodes. If you’ve not seen it and you can handle a little PG-13 horror, check it out.

Warning: minor plot point ahead, here until the end of the short dialog below

People have a desire to remain consistent and look for patterns and consistency everywhere they look. Photo by allen, Untitled, Flickr CC-By-2.0

In episode 7 of Stranger Things, the Goonies-like squad of middle-schoolers have a plan to rescue their friend. (more…)
Listen to Robert Cialdini discuss his new book “PRE-suasion”

Dr. Robert Cialdini, author of Influence, discusses his new book PRE-suasion. Listen to this fascinating 1 hour podcast now!
From Bottled Water to Better Grades

Have you ever felt obliged to do something for someone to repay her for her efforts? Maybe you sent a thank-you card to a great aunt for that fruitcake. That time when you tipped at a restaurant when grabbing takeout. Someone held a door for you and you hurried through, trying to not waste his time.

Obligation goes beyond wanting to do something. You feel like you have to do something. This is reciprocity. You might call it tit-for-tat.

We recently covered anchoring, setting a large opening bid to help sway a negotiation towards that anchor. Reciprocity is almost the opposite.

Bottled Water is a cheap gift to give someone, yet the returns are great. Photo “Bottled Water Macros December 02, 20105” by Steven Depolo, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

My father-in-law recently gave me a great example of reciprocity that he uses in his college classroom. (more…)
Diffusing those Horrible Accusations

“What are these?” my boss asked. He was standing near the mail delivery in the front of the office, holding a new computer. But not the right computer. “Where are the laptops we ordered?”

Diffuse a situation by taking responsibility before everything blows up. “Time_bomb” by Matt486, Flickr CC-By-2.0

My boss looked around the office. No one knew who had ordered the wrong hardware. Except, I knew that it was me. I could see my boss welling up with the frustrations of the week. No one wanted what was coming next.

Some day, you’ll find yourself painted into a corner. Maybe even the target of a character assassination. Your coworker is torpedoing your chances at that promotion. The police officer catches you speeding. Your spouse is going for the kill in the middle of a dinner party.

What can you do? (more…)
How I didn’t get my asking rate (and why that was good)

Hello PRL!

Ever feel like you’ve got the bad end of a bargain? Maybe it doesn’t feel like a bargain at all. Maybe you’re not sure why you accepted that deal. Or maybe it was a great deal, all things considered. Time was short, options were few.

Who wouldn’t want to dance? “Festival,” photo by Purple Sheep, Flickr CC-By-2.0

Years ago, I had concert tickets to a summer festival in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I bought the tickets months before the show. I bought them knowing my wife would be more than seven months pregnant at the show. Still I was certain that she’d want to dance in the fields of Wisconsin. In the middle of July.

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The Unbelievably Simple way to Improve Participation

Good day PRL readers!

Last week we touched on ways that you can negatively influence an outcome: The Poochie Effect. By immediately presenting a solution to a question, we shut people out of the solution process and remove their intrinsic desire to be valuable.

Lead people to your conclusions with Pacing. Flicker, US Army, CC-By-2.0

Today I want to talk about pacing. Pacing is when you get early agreement in a conversation, and slowly lead somebody to reach your goal.

Pacing is the opposite of the Poochie Effect, and it’s essential to Persuasion and Social Hypnosis. (more…)