I used to work in computer security.
Security was always top of mind for our department, and we were on the lookout for ways to improve security.
For many non-IT people, however, it seems that their own jobs are top of mind for them (duh). Most employees aren’t focused on security, but on communication and convenience to get their own jobs done.
Convenience and security are often at odds.
Convenience is king. People are looking for ways to make a task easier, or find shortcuts to finish a task more quickly.
By design, security tries to add layers of friction to slow down (or frustrate) potential security breaches — by removing convenience.
If you make something too restrictive, you have high security but very low convenience. People will find ways to work around inconvenient systems.
If something is too convenient, there is not enough security to meet policy requirements.
The two ideas work against one another, and frequently the idea of convenience wins out.
Trust Isn’t Security
It’s also the case that in an organization, we often trust one another and assume that there are no “bad actors” in our company. To improve our work relationships, it’s important to build trust among one another.
Part of this organizational trust includes people leaving their computers “unlocked” (not password protected), or placing the computer in a public space before using the bathroom. They believe nothing bad could happen to them.
Our IT department would regularly find laptops in the office kitchen or monitors sitting unused at an empty desk. Other times people will bring devices to us.
We would then look up these devices to see who they’re assigned to.
How I Destroyed that Trust
A few years ago when we found an unattended computer or monitor, I would reach out to the employee with the message:
We found your abandoned hardware, what would you like us to do?
Now, the employee would be apologetic and promise to never ever do it again, and we’d get the hardware back to him or her.
My method of reaching out to these employees was a valid —but short-sighted— attempt to do my own job.
Of course we all want things secured, to protect the organization and everyone’s jobs. No one ever said they intentionally tried to reduce security, and I understood that.
But when I used the word abandon, which was my intentional choice, I was putting blame on the other employee.
Remember Dale Carnegie’s first rule of influence: Never criticize, condemn, or complain.
With that single word abandon, I was criticizing co-workers in an attempt to shame people into behaving differently.
Instead it had the opposite result, one that IT Departments the world over struggle with:
People would rather circumvent difficult processes and people rather than feel shamed, or have to justify their decisions.
All over the world, IT Departments are seen as a source of frustration. And here I was, adding to it — I was the difficult person.
Everything we do… we believe we’ve done for the a reason that makes sense at the time.
Even my own choice of words, I justified by using them and expecting a change from others. I was blind to the negative impact I was creating.
In fact we all justify our behaviors all the time.
Build Trust with Better Words
If we want to influence people, we have to build trust in our relationships. Without trust, there is no influence.
Here are words from Oren Jay Sofer, author of Say What You Mean, that we may think express our own emotions, when they actually shift blame to others people. My word choice tops this alphabetical list:
- Abandoned
- Abused
- Attacked
- Betrayed
- Bullied
- Cheated
- Dismissed
- Disrespected
- Interrupted
- Let down
- Manipulated
- Misunderstood
- Neglected
- Pressured
- Provoked
- Rejected
- Treated unfairly
- Threatened
- Unappreciated
- Unheard
- Unsupported
I’ve since learned to be more diplomatic and tactful in my communication (which is always an ongoing education). I want the IT Department to be supportive of the organizational goals, and I have to recognize that security, while necessary, can be a source of frustration.
Anything I can do to minimize this, the better.
Identify these words in your own communication. Work to eliminate them. They’re not helping your cause.